A Letter For The Future

Dear Arnold and whoever else decides to read this,

Remember when you read what Steven King wrote about writing? He said it’s telepathy, and in a sense it’s time travel. I am you on March 31^st, 2015 at 1:55 PM. You’re questioning yourself over and over again. You’re feeling all kinds of emotions and feelings that you force yourself to accept. You want so much, but you feel guilty about it as if you don’t deserve it. I don’t know why you feel this way, but I’m hoping that the next time you read this you don’t feel this way. You’re not going to get where you want to be by feeling guilty about it, so give the false humility a rest.

Now, on to other things. Right now I think it’s best to list all the things that you absolutely need to remember. No matter where you end up you can’t forget these things. Remember your childhood. Remember the pain and the loneliness. Remember that you accepted it and got over it; don’t dwell. Remember your zombie-esque early adult life. Remember going through the motions with everything. Remember desperately trying to feel something. Most of all, remember forcing yourself to stomach things that didn’t make you happy. Remember cheating and being cheated on. Remember your false definitions of love, and what you discovered about the real nature of love. Remember losing every single thing you used to hide behind. Remember losing your wife, your status, your career, and every bit of yourself that you manufactured. Remember finding yourself for the first time way later than you should have. Remember coming back to writing like a child you grudgingly gave up for adoption, and ran into again later in life. Remember the early attempts of writing. Remember turning raw emotion into words. Remember the suicidal poem of third grade. Remember the premature “I Am Africa.” Remember the first reading at Busboys. Remember being in the stockroom at MHS and discovering the magic of words and writing. Remember what writing really is. Remember the fantasies and the desires of being successful. Remember the humanitarian and political goals. Remember every person who believed/s in you. Remember Sam, Moi, Anissa, Ben, Brenda, Jona, Skot, John, and Baby Arnold. Remember Roses, Arnold. Remember that first time of feeling absolutely sure that you will be successful, and then remember the subsequent feelings of fear and doubt. Remember mushrooms, alcohol, and weed. Remember overdraft fees. Remember being hired, fired, and then hired again. Remember acknowledging that the workforce isn’t you!

Get the point yet? Write, Arnold; it’s what you enjoy. Be successful and do everything you want to do. If you are reading this, and you have conformed then you’re not yourself; you don’t conform. You believe in yourself no matter what, and then you charge ahead. Charge ahead, and do what you love.

Sincerely,

You.