The Good, The Great, and The Awesome

I used to tell myself that bad things happen to bad people, but then bad things happened to me. Then I realigned that train of thought and I told myself  that bad things happen to all people. Now, I have fine tuned my train of thought even more to things just happen to everyone. "Good" and "bad" are our interpretations of what happens to us. Once you realize this you have power because you can consciously make every event in your life a "good thing". So now that you know the good are you ready to hear the great? 

I told you in my last post that I had lost my job. I also told you that The Universe pretty much told me to shut up and listen, and I have been doing it! Last night I was reading a book called "Science of Mind" by Ernest Holmes (a great read) and it was talking about the illusion of hope. The best way for me to explain it is to apply it to my situation. People tell me to be positive and I say something like "I am; a job will come my way. At least I hope it will...". That's doubt in disguise, and if you are doubting yourself you're doubting the power of God, The Universe, Higher Self, (insert belief here). You get the picture. The next thing I read about was about how you can't be passive in your thoughts, meditation, and prayers. So I closed the book, went upstairs, calmed my mind, and meditated. In my meditation I said that I am open to universal blessings. I told myself that an opportunity would come my way, and today it did. Someone emailed me saying that he saw my resume and asked me if I was interested in a job. I replied with a yes and had a phone interview about 20 minutes later. I have one more interview to tackle and then I may be employed again. I forgot to mention that this meditation took place about 12 hours before getting the email. That's a pretty quick turn around. Long story short all this positive talk stuff seems to really work. So let go of negativity if you've got it. Ready for the awesome?

I've already talked about the way we translate events that take place in our lives, and I'm choosing to translate getting fired as a good thing. I have been able to really bond with my son and I can tell he loves it. While I was working I was so caught up on work and other things that I can admit that my son wasn't getting the attention he deserved, but now things are better than ever! Life is good right now. I really don't have much to complain about. 

& Then God Really Spoke

We're 17 days into January, and it has been nothing short of a whirlwind. On New Year's Day a christian youth group member came up to me and pretty much inflated my ego with the things that God had told him about me. I had never met the kid, but some of the stuff he said was close to paranormal. I had a few of those "how did he know??" moments and I got chills down my spine. I soaked it all up as he told me about my relationship with my father, my big dreams, my good heart, the monetary success I was going to have, and how good of a father I was. Needless to say I was on top of the world. God had pretty much told me (through some random kid) that I was going to have an awesome year. All I had to do was accept Jesus into my heart. Little did he know I had been "saved" about five or six times since I was ten years old, but I did it anyway. I prayed the sinners prayer, gave him my telephone number, and then sat down and ordered all you can eat wings. I ate the wings with a full mind and a happy heart. A few days later I reflected on 2014 and realized that I had an exceptional year. I took time to be grateful for everything that I had, and took comfort in the fact that I was about to have a nice relaxing year of success. 

Before I go on I have to talk about my "success" of 2014. 2013 was largely spent in a state of depression. My wife left me and took my son with her. 2014 was me getting over that, and learning how to cope with abrupt change. In 2014 I met an amazing woman, I began to learn how to connect with people, I was forced to leave the military and found a much higher paying job within days, I wrote more than any other year in my life, and to top it all off I got my son back. 2014 was for all intents and purposes; my year. So I reflected on all of that and more, and I was excited about this prophetic start to 2015. I even mapped out the year and fantasized about all the success I would have. Looking back on it now I can honestly laugh about it. It's so funny because after everything I had gone through in my life I still was, and still am, a naive child. Life is a a lot like Jenga; no matter how well the tower is built one pull of a log can bring the whole thing crumbling and tumbling down to the table. Then the game is over and everyone laughs, the winner gloats, and the sore loser makes excuses as to why they didn't win. On Tuesday, January 13th, someone pulled the fatal log, and I lost the game. 

On that Tuesday my boss came in at the end of the day and fired me for ambiguous reasons. I was shattered. What kind of game was God playing anyway? I proceeded to go through the stages of loss and mourning that the losers of a Jenga game go through. I made excuses and talked about hypothetical situations, but when I looked down at the table the logs were still in pile rather than a mighty tower. I had lost. The subsequent days have been misleading. To those on the outside I have taken it like a champion. They see me applying for jobs and re-writing my resume, and talking positive, but on the inside it has been a tempest. I have felt fear like I have never felt before, my son asks me to buy him something and I nearly come to tears, and to top it off I cant help but to reach and reach for the reason that God would conspire against me. Well, God, my Higher Self, The Universe, or whatever higher power you believe in surely did conspire against me, and in these last few days I have found out why. 

The main reason is to make me a better person. I can honestly say that in four short days I have become a better me than I was four days ago. I have learned the value of reaching out to other people and asking for help. I have a problem with showing I am struggling and it is probably the most detrimental aspect of my character, but thanks to this situation I now know better. I have applied for 10 jobs in the last 4 days, but there are 4 other people shopping around my resume through their connections trying to get me a job as soon as possible. I talked on the phone with one of them today and once the conversation was over I was overcome with emotion. Why at 26 am I just realizing the value of my fellow man? Arrogance and pride has blinded me for all of my life, but The Universe has conspired to make me better. Yesterday I went to lunch with the amazing woman I alluded to earlier, and a lady dining alone ended up sharing a bit of her life with us. She told me how she had been laid off 3 times, and that each time she bounced back. She told me that she believed that negative situations seem negative, but they always end up being blessings in disguise. I smiled, but in my mind I arrogantly thought to myself "I know". Shortly after that I got a call from a woman trying to schedule me for a class, and she ended up saying almost exactly what the other woman had just said. Suddenly my pride fell. Maybe I didn't know. 

These last couple of days I have been so caught up on my past victories and what God told the kid. SO much so that I was failing to see what God was telling me. I titled this blog "& Then God Really Spoke" but I think it would have been more accurate to name it "& Then I Really Listened". That has been the most important thing that I have learned in this situation. We have to listen. In 2015 my challenge to myself, and to anyone else who wants to accompany me on this journey to listen.