Scardy Cat

It is no secret that I am a dreamer. Even people who know little about me can claim they have witnessed some of my eccentric desires. I long for things like a world without nuclear bombs, or the end of racism. I desire to be an amazing father and a successful writer. I want to be a number of things, and like I said earlier; it’s no secret. Recently, I have become devoted to my ambition to become a renowned author. I write, read, and dream daily. I lose confidence, doubt, and fear daily. I go to bed exhausted and drained, but I cannot quit.

I am not very old, but I can look back on my life and see that I have quit everything I really wanted to do. I can accept that I ran away from my aspirations when they appeared difficult beyond acceptance. I never wanted to join the military; I wanted to go to college. I remember getting accepted to a few universities, and feeling disdain because I had no idea how I would pay for them. The idea of soliciting for grants and loans seemed too tiresome to me, so I gave up. I remember wanting to rap, write, play and instrument, learn, a language, and even leave a relationship; all of these seemed too difficult for me to overcome the obstacles. Now that I think about it, I quit on my hometown, San Diego. I joined the military because it would be easier than struggling with the early stages of adulthood like most of my classmates. I created a situation that I hoped would leave me fearless, and appear brave. The irony of it all is insane, but I have digressed.

The fact of the matter is that I am no longer afraid, and for the first time I am doing more than dreaming. The devotion to my craft has only produced positive results; the most obvious is my increased writing skill. In addition to that I have become more sociable, reduced idle habits, assimilated good habits, and I have amassed a small group of fans, friends, and supporters. This miniscule group of people get me going, and for them, and myself, I work hard on my novella. Some of them have no idea what it is about, but they are anxious to read it; I have never had support like that. I tell you the truth when I say that little things can go a long way. I have been in some very dark places, but not in a long time. I want to tell this group of people about the novella.

The story is about a single father and his teenage son. The father lives in a quiet world of secrets, and is harder on his son than he would like to be. The son is a lonely boy who resents his father, and wonders about his mother. Both the father and son live in a reality void of affection, love, and women. The story is still being written so I don’t know much more than that, but I promise you it is beautiful. It has turned into something that I would never imagine: An ode to both women and love.

Anyway, if any of you are afraid to do something; don’t be. I believe what sets successful people apart from dreamers is their fearlessness and their utter lack of compromise. Don’t quit and don’t compromise; run into walls until you find a door.